too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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