I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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