i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Sober January is a disaster.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
