dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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