I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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