i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
