you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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