just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
