wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize