i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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