got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She bit a glass in half.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
