i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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