The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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