Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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