just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
