the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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