it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
