I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize