i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
