I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
