I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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