The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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