nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
