i don't plan on having that self control this summer
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
