i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
no, he came in my armpit
I cut my penus on the lid.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
