I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
