census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
