please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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