Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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