Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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