Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
