your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
