i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
