Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
