WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
