There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
