Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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