When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
