I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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