so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize