Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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