there's paper in my vomit.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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