i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
