Porn is love you can see.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
