I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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