I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
