Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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