I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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