I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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