I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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