I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
