I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
