He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Randomize
