69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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