so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you didnt know i had herpes?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
