he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
