I only kidnapped one of them. chill
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
