Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
