I can text with my tongue
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
