just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
