I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You are the jesus of drinking
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
