And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
