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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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