in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize