the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
