rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
