fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Terrible idea I love it
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
