I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
