Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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