Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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