I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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