Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
