Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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