ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
