just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
