I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
