her vagine was all disorganized.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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