doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
