What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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