Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
