From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
