her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
